ReelBob: ‘The Bellmen’ ★
By Bob Bloom
“The Bellmen” is a spaghetti comedy that plays as if situations and bits were thrown against a wall and whatever stuck — which was not much — was pasted into a script.
A successful comedy needs two things — pacing and funny people. And “The Bellmen” lacks both.
The film plays like a home movie cobbled together by a group of friends who had time on their hands.
This is a boring comedy with actors either playing deadpan or simply mugging.
“The Bellmen” is not funny, despite using all kinds of gimmicks — including goofy music — to mine laughs.
The movie’s miniscule plot centers on Steve (Adam Ray), the bell captain at a hotel in Arizona, who has been on the job for about 27 years and is content with his position.
He has a crush on Kelly (Kelen Coleman), the hotel’s chef concierge, but she refuses to go out with him.
So, Steve lies to her, telling him he has received a promotion to assistant manager, then tries to finagle the position from his best pal, who is the hotel manager.
Much time is spent on the various hijinks and quirks of the other bellmen, but none comes close to being amusing.
The movie is aiming for a “Animal House” or “Caddyshack” vibe but is too weak to even create a ripple.
The other storyline follows a phony guru who dupes followers into giving him their money by brainwashing them with a hand sanitizer — you can’t make this stuff up; well, I guess you can.
He also is in the process of buying the hotel so he can turn it into a casino and — for good measure — he is stealing the hotel’s complimentary robes.
As I said, whatever seems to have stuck made it in the screenplay.
“The Bellmen” tries sight gags, some slapstick and situations to create a comedic atmosphere. But most of it falls flat — large segments of funny moments are just sophomoric.
Plus, the feature works so hard trying to be zany and generate laughs that you can almost hear it wheezing.
I’m not sure who, besides writers Jason Adler and Cameron Fife, who also directed, thought “The Bellmen” was funny. Someone needed to do them a favor and tell them their story needed a lot of rewriting before they pointed a camera at anyone.
The movie will be available for streaming about May 5; I strongly urge that you make a reservation at your own risk.
Early in the film, we are told that the life of a bellman is all about doing a great job to earn big tips. Well, here’s one: next time you want to produce a comedy, make sure it’s funny before you let anyone see it.
I am a founding member of the Indiana Film Journalists Association. My reviews appear at ReelBob (reelbob.com) and Rottentomatoes (www.rottentomatoes.com). I also review Blu-rays and DVDs. I can be reached by email at bobbloomjc@gmail.com or on Twitter @ReelBobBloom. Links to my reviews can be found on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.
THE BELLMEN
1 star out of 4
Not rated