ReelBob: ‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’ ★½
By Bob Bloom
We all know that dinosaurs are extinct. Too bad we can’t say the same for the new “Jurassic World” movie franchise.
The original “Jurassic Park” was a technological marvel. The “Jurassic World” reboot of the series was a thrill ride that poked fun at corporate greed and the misplaced mindset that bigger is better.
Now we have “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom,” which, as it turns out, is a very bad animal-rights, save-the-dinosaur allegory.
I believe in climate change, and I support saving and protecting endangered species. I draw the line, though, at raptors and the T-Rex. Their time came and went; it’s called evolution.
And the time has come to end this “Jurassic World” reboot — to mercifully put this series out of its misery.
“Fallen Kingdom” is a cliché-ridden succession of useless and superfluous expository and hoary dialogue interspersed with formulaic sequences of narrow escapes and close calls.
The movie is preposterous, sloppy and stupid. With the possible exception of Chris Pratt, the characters are one-dimensional archetypes, defined by their wardrobe and words.
Every situation is predictable. Director J.A. Bayona, working from a script by Colin Trevorrow and Derek Connolly, fails to create any tension or offer any surprises.
The path taken by the majority of characters is known from the minute they appear on screen.
Most infuriating is that the “brains” behind the camera treats the audience like fools, believing that filmgoers will buy into this pathetic outline of a story and simply be mesmerized by the CGI-created dinosaurs.
It’s troubling that the people behind “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” — with all their creative talent — didn’t know they had a turkey on their hands and, instead of trying to fix it, simply foisted it off on a gullible public to make a quick $100 million.
And even those massive animals perform as clichés, with each having a specific function in the plot before disappearing into the night.
Perhaps because it has become so commonplace, the dinosaurs fail to astonish and provide the awe and spectacle they once engendered.
One of the movie’s odd circumstances is the filmmakers’ efforts to create sympathy for the plight of these resurrected animals.
Sure, you can feel badly for white tigers, elephants, rhinos or other contemporary species that are being reduced or facing extinction.
But dinosaurs? Sorry, they had their chance, and if they can’t make it on their own now, well, it’s hard to feel badly for a cold-blooded behemoth that weighs several tons and can crush or devour a person.
I believe, though, most of the creatures display more personality than their human costars.
“Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” is a cinematic ELE — extinction-level event that should bury this franchise. Unfortunately, groundwork has been laid for another sequel.
So, we will wait to determine if, like this puny effort, it will be consigned to a museum with all the other fossils.
I am a member of the Indiana Film Journalists Association. My reviews appear at ReelBob (reelbob.com) and Rottentomatoes (www.rottentomatoes.com). I also review Blu-rays and DVDs. I can be reached by email at bobbloomjc@gmail.com or on Twitter @ReelBobBloom. Links to my reviews can be found on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and LinkedIn.
JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM
1½ stars out of 4
(PG-13), intense sequences of science fiction violence and danger