ReelBob: ‘The House with a Clock in the Walls’ ★½
By Bob Bloom
The biggest magic trick about “The House with a Clock in the Walls” is your ability to stay awake through the entire movie.
The film, directed by horrormeister Eli Roth and adapted by Eric Kripke from the young adult novel by John Bellairs, is boring and lifeless.
It lacks any truly remarkable magical moments that make you sit up and take notice. It’s basically watered-down bits and pieces of “Harry Potter,” “Goosebumps” and innumerable Disney Channel movies.
The film could have served as an extended episode of Steven Spielberg’s mid-1980s “Amazing Stories” TV series.
The story, set in 1955 in New Zebedee, Mich., centers on 10-year-old Lewis who, after his parents were killed in an accident, is sent to live with his uncle, Jonathan Barnavelt (Jack Black), in his creaky and spooky old house.
On his first day at his new school, Lewis learns his new home is called the “Slaughterhouse” and his classmates believe his uncle is an ax murderer.
Uncle Jonathan is actually a warlock whose closest friend and next-door neighbor, Mrs. Zimmerman (Cate Blanchett), is a witch.
Together, they are searching the large abode, which originally belonged to Jonathan’s partner in magic, Isaac Izard (Kyle McLachlan), for a clock hidden somewhere in the house.
The clock’s function is an ominous one that takes most of the movie to discover. The payoff, while rather outlandish and ridiculous, is at least not a letdown.
The same cannot be said for the feature as a whole. Generic and sanitized, it offers a few scares that may make some youngsters jump but will most likely make adults yawn.
The movie lacks any truly frightening moments — no jump cuts and very few scenes in which people or objects suddenly hurdle into frame.
You’d expect, with Roth’s experience in making horror films, he would be able to manipulate the movie, so it presents some truly frightening moments — even with a PG rating.
Among the film’s other shortcomings is Black’s performance. He mugs and makes some faces and acts as if he recently stepped off the set of his “Goosebumps” movies.
He’s as believable as a warlock as was Daniel Day-Lewis as director Guido Contini in the musical, “Nine.”
Blanchett is valiant and mostly takes her role seriously. She aims more for the dramatic, but also allows for a twinkle in her eye.
Young Owen Vaccaro as Lewis is bland and nondescript. What defines him is his World War I aviator goggles and a bow tie.
Unfortunately, the adult performers play second banana to Lewis, which is another of the movie’s stumbling blocks.
Watching “The House with a Clock in the Walls” makes you wish you were a magician, warlock or witch, so you could speed up time to make the movie’s 100-plus minutes zoom by in a flash.
I am a member of the Indiana Film Journalists Association. My reviews appear at ReelBob (reelbob.com) and Rottentomatoes (www.rottentomatoes.com). I also review Blu-rays and DVDs. I can be reached by email at bobbloomjc@gmail.com or on Twitter @ReelBobBloom. Links to my reviews can be found on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and LinkedIn.
THE HOUSE WITH A CLOCK IN THE WALLS
1½ stars out of 4
(PG), magical and scary elements and images, rude humor, language